Sunday Rant: Let's All Shut Up About...

Let's all shut up about... 1) The Great Gap Logo Disaster of 2010.

The new logo was ugly, so they changed it.

...and there's really, really nothing else to say about it.

2) The fact that FACEBOOK WANTS TO EAT YOUR SOUL AND THEN REGURGITATE IT AND SELL IT TO "THE MAN".

This one's a bit more complex. I mean, yeah. Facebook probably does want to eat my soul and then regurgitate it and sell it to The Man. Yeah, they're probably storing all of my personal details in a super-secure facility buried deep underground in Area 51 and when they're ready they're going to harvest the data and send it up into space where the aliens will use it to invade the earth and crown Mark Zuckerberg KING OF EVERYTHING! (Or is that scientology?)

But also, I kind of don't care.

Tthe whole thing reminds me of one of those 60 Minutes features on why that soft cuddly toy you've just bought your kid is actually A TICKING TIME BOMB AND LIKE THE WORST THING EVER, EVER, LIKE WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE EVER except for next week's feature on WHY BRUSHING YOUR HAIR WILL CAUSE THE WORLD TO END.

I have a Facebook account. I like Facebook. I was a college kid in Boston when it launched and I saw it go from something we were all a bit bemused about ("huh! have you seen that Facebook thing? No, it's www.thefacebook.com - yeah, I signed up, I don't really know what to do with it") to something that suddenly meant something ("yeah, we're kind of seeing each other, but his relationship status still says "single", so I dunno") to something were were all obsessed about ("OMG, did you see the photos from last night?") to something that's completely ingrained in our culture. The process only took a few years. It's pretty cool.

I can also see how it's pretty scary. Just like the fact that the cuddly toy you just bought your kid could be dangerous if you choose to use it as a device for asphyxiation, not entertainment.

But people. We do, to a certain extent, have control of our own actions. If you really don't want anyone to see the photos of you dancing naked to "Oops I Did It Again" whilst snorting what you thought was coke but what actually turned out to be chalk from the local primary school and holding up a sign that says, "MY BOSS IS A DOUCHE", then take some precautions. Steal the camera and drop it into a deep, dark well. Make everything private. Deactivate your account. Or, you know, don't dance naked to Britney Spears and snort chalk and slag your boss off, but I understand if you just really have to or if someone spiked your Smirnoff Ice or whatever.

But can you please remember that the internet is not really the place to try to hide the memory of all the things you've ever done and wished you hadn't? The internet is not really the place to hide anything. It's the place to share stuff.

And also? I'm pretty sure Mark Zukerberg and the evil scientologist aliens don't actually give a shit that your favourite book is War and Peace and that you're interested in "chillin, partyin, and hangin out", or indeed that the "g" key on your keyboard appears not to work. Nothing is perfect, not even Facebook, and yes it's new and we're still trying to figure out What It Means For Our Society, but...brushing your hair isn't really going to cause the world to end. You know?

Added bonus rant!

The word "tweeps". As in, "people who are on Twitter". E.g. "Morning tweeps! How are we all today?"

Please just don't.