This is exactly how I feel right now. I don't mean right now in this moment; I mean right now in general. I mean this sums up the sense that I have constantly. I'm both scuppered and free. At any instant I may hit a brick wall or discover opportunity. In a way this is how things always are. Impossible, amazing. How do you reconcile the fact that you always want what you don't have with the fact that you have something special? You don't, because this is how we have always been, this is how we always will be. You just sit there and thing, everything is impossible, anything is possible. You think that until you don't know what anything means anymore.